It feels like I stepped into another world

I have definitely changed.

My idea of relaxation is firing up Sublime Text and code away for an hour or so. Coding is like playing a musical instrument with outcomes that are predictable and repeatable. Creating and expanding the toolsets that I need to do business works well with my current duties. It used to be chaotic and scary, but nowadays, I’ve seen enough code to know the predictable outcome of most of them, rendering it the solution to the OCD within all of us. So just like that, it replaced gaming as my cheap go-to for relaxation.

Enjoyment of anything has been severely limited. Mostly because at all time of the day, I think about the business. Leaving my only salvation the little bit of sunshine I get to enjoy during lunch when I sit down outside by myself, with a dish containing  butter walnut shrimp. You see, it’s like some submissive who can only have an orgasm when they are tied up. The mind can finally give up struggling and just tells itself that there’s nothing to be done, so I am not guilty of sinning. 

Which is why, anyone who interrupts my lunch gets the “You get one chance.” treatment. So unlike me but sorry, I need the alone time more than you need money or company. You do not want me to go insane and become a socialpath because I will redirect all my attention on money into making your life miserable.

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