I’ve gotten enough ppl asking why I stopped writing that I think I should address it.
It’s a combination of being hard at work training for Dancesport competition, not really having anything significant happening and being in general disappointed with humanity. There are a lot of thing that happened that brings me into a dark mood and I tend not to write about those things as they happen too often and I am working slowly on mitigating the impact of these events.
I don’t want to feel this way, but every instances where it happens, it just put that much damper in my life. The worst thing is, they tend to happen together and in multiples of 3s. Might be a blessing for my readers as it triggered me to write this rant. Well, now that the 3rd one happened, I can look forward to having no such event for a while.
Instance #1: is the biggest downer. But as with many thing in my life. It is one of those top secret thing that cannot be hidden once revealed. These top secret projects have my blood and sweat put into it and affects me the most and usually takes decades to pan out. It’s basically reset to zero and I am looking at soldering on to continue the grind while feeling really down. This is when I started thinking :”Shiiiiiiit, it’s happening again. Bad events happens in clusters of 3.” Being, in general, even tempered and wanting to see life as glass half full. I continued the routine.
Instance #2: This is probably just my own anal retentive quirks that creates self inflicted wounds. But there’s one thing I do not tolerate in life and that is people who waste my time. Granted I’ve done the same to others and I’ve always tried to make up for it by giving presents or other efforts and I’ve really evolved past the usual German like clockwork to giving everyone a 15 minute flex delay. Especially in Vancouver where people are notorious for being flaky. Even so, if you want me to instantly get into a fit of rage, a no show would be it. If instance #1 triggers depression, instance #2 triggered anger. Which is what my dance partner did to me. Mind you, I would’ve been worried if this was a once in a blue moon thing, but this is the 2nd instance with a history of being half an hour late with 15 minute lateness being normal. As a mild mannered person, I waited two days before having a sit down and addressed this in the way I know. Business. It was perhaps my mistake for not spelling out how being on time is the most important aspect of the partnership for me and the next time this happens, I am out. Since we are all grown up adults who are supposedly waay past this teenage schenanigans and we can’t change each other, I can only change my own reaction towards it. Everyone gets 3 chances. The business side of me also understand that I’ve already invested too much in this partnership for November’s competition to just break up now, but after that I’ll have to review it.
Instance #3: By the end of Instance #2, I already have this bad premonition of Instance #3 happening, but refuse to believe that this will happen. Behold, my 4 month old Tesla Model 3 got its windows smashed… In an underground security gated and security patrolled garage. The thief targeted my car only with a Jaguar F-Type parked about 10 meters away. Now, a Tesla has a place to plug in a usb key to store camera footage from its 8 cameras surrounding the car, but the thief knows enough to take that usb drive away. I bought this car knowing that there are quite a lot of people who targets Teslas for damage and lots of instances in downtown for car break ins. So I decided to do everything I could to mitigate the potential for this to happen. Left nothing in the car, parked in a place that has had no such break ins for the past 2 years and with the most security. Not that I expect the worst case scenario to happen, but damn, is this not a coincidence. I mean, I’d probably feel better if all the cars in the garage got their windows smashed, but just me? This is targeted. Instance #3 brought me disappointment in humanity. $5 worth of usb thumb drive, for a $500 window.
Speaking of which, I believe the last time this happened was around the 2008 crash. Back then, I almost lost everything and almost went broke, my parents were divorcing and my dance partner pulled the exact same no show shit. Why is it that dance partner no show correlates with these coincidence of threes?
Back then, I was paralyzed for months without motivation to do anything. Today I no longer lived my life based on motivation, but have built in discipline. So I still go to the gym, still train my body everyday and practice dance techniques, still put in the designated hours for my projects. But damn, having all these three things happen within 3 days of each other put a damper on my life.