I was deeply influenced by the 3 Kingdoms era where there exist a strong separation between the role of strategist and lord. As such, a strategist that is in anyway superior in intellect to the lord is possible without any consequence to the lord’s hold on troop moral. I’ve always wanted to be that strategist and shunned any responsibility to lead as can be seen in all the games I’ve played in my past. The same reason why I studied the Mentat in Dune and started trying to think the way they do.
The same story would unfold over and over, I’d present brilliant strategies to maneuver a whole clan to victory over and over until eventually, I get elected to leader and run away from the game forever because I can’t handle the time investment and pressure of leading people. I think, this happens in western society because the leadership usually takes all the credits of a well executed plan. There’s no clear hero worship on anyone in particular that came up with the strategy. Steve Jobs being the best example of this Western infatuation of an all powerful leader.
So I’ve decided to change and I’ve decided to lead because I realized that the reason why I like the 3 kingdom’s separation is because I can rely on the leader to be the fall guy when things fail and also leverage the lord’s charm instead of actually using my own. I was just afraid of putting my own reputation on the line and afraid of being judged.
Reputation be damned.