I always thought that I have good mastery over my emotions and strived to be able to function even under duress, but the fact of the matter is… I cannot deal with death.
Yesterday was the first day I felt normal again. The reason why I noticed is because I am able to sit down in front of my codes and pickup something that I left incomplete 3 weeks ago whereas during my days of mourning, I tried but failed miserably. The problem I am tackling, seemed like an insurmountable mountain back then, but is actually just little tricks that requires one minute of thinking. The difference on the outlook is mind boggling.
So if I compare the things that depression does its these:
Loss of memory
Loss of appetite
Loss of emotions
Inability to solve problems
The suppression of memory is still happening. I myself don’t know it, but there’s an increase in incidences where this phenomena is pointed out by people I am with.