I hadn’t notice it before, how tired and weary I was of life. I thought that since I had started working for myself, I don’t need vacations anymore. Truth is, I haven’t taken any real vacation since the last time in Morocco. I didn’t know that about myself, but now I know. The way I recharge from all the weariness of the world is by travelling in a foreign country.
To be on the go and in between is my natural state of being since so much of my life consists of moving and living amongst strangers. A chance for me to retreat from the complexity and nuances of languages in order to once again rely on my senses and feelings to guide the way. There is a simple pleasureÂ in learn about strangers through basic human instincts and to see your instincts becoming a reality.Â Through this process of simple animal communication, I heal myself and my self confidence.
The Morocco trip scared me into giving up backpacking for a while. The chance meeting of those who’ve been travelling in such a way for decades permanently scarred me for life. Back then, I realized that I never wanted to become like them. What exactly it is they are, I am not very sure. A sense of distorted reality some form of sadness about their situation? How lonely they seem to always be because they never settled anywhere to form a strong enough bond.
It scared me, but it is also my natural state of being and how I recharge in order to get back to a productive human being in search of excellence. To deny myself such pleasure is wrong. I can see that now, but to completely embracing it is also not my way because I have found goals worthy of the stress.
I feel refreshed and every inch of my muscles is exhausted. In turn, my mental musclesÂ are wound up tightly and ready to be unleashed for the challenges ahead. Next time, I will not wait so long before losing myself in another country.