Lost

It seems that I've lost my way.
Knowing myself I learn by emersion the best.
Things I want to improve on:
Writing
Aggression
Conversation skills
Leadership skills

I need to start with reading books as that is an easy way to ease into the new change. Use 1 new word per day in my writing.

Conversation skills can be improved at work as there are alot of dead air while troubleshooting client's problem. Those UK people are fun to talk to anyway. I want to tryout saying outrageous things and see what their response is.

Leadership skill need to be improved by starting something and getting people to join.

Aggression need to be worked on as it's always been an issue with me. It can be categorized as one of my biggest shadow. I feel bad for my opponent when I beat them in a head to head encounter. So it was never satisfying enough to keep me going. I feel ashamed for beating others at something and I feel bad that they feel defeated. Which brought me to dancesport where I don't have to defeat just one person, where the shame is spread to alot of people making winning acceptable.
I need to force myself to beat others and enjoy it. To win in a head to head encounter and doesn't feel ashamed of it. Even in games with an alternate personality in an alternate universe I cannot bring myself to do it.