A deep reflection

So what's with my recent behavior towards women and this big emotional swings on my mood?

Long story short. After my parting with certain dear person in my life last year. I've decided to make a point to understand just exactly what women wanted.

So I did alot of reading on all those realtionship experts's books and pick up artist's books. Sometimes it goes great, but sometimes it doesn't.

I feel like an idiot when it doesn't. I mean, I can just be me instead of trying to be someone else and I wanted to be accepted as just me.

Yet what they say have certain truth in them. I am often torn between alot of ideas.
This is my problem and I think people who read this will be bored to death by it. Oh yeah another wussie talk. But this secret journal is the only place where I get this out. This is the only place, where I can relax from the constraints of the world and just say things for what it is. Don't need to worry about boring people, don't need to worry about being all feely washy and don't need to worry about… well maybe worry about being judged.

I… think too much. I should get back into moving too much again. But man… this flu. It's keeping me tied up infront of my computer.