This is harder than I thought

Let me take a few second away from the crazyiness to record this feeling. I am sick and on drugs to recover faster. The world is a floating maze. I don’t know anyone and I feel like an outsider whenever I speak to anyone. They can tell, because the way I speak/act is different. I don’t know how to tell a joke thus making me a very boring person. I can’t have deep and interesting discussions with anyone, because I don’t know how to do that in this language. I hate walking in 100% humidity at 42 degree celsius. I hate sweating, I hate not having a job. I hate being blasted by smelly winds which I am beginning to ignore. I hate knowing that people are devious here and they scheme alot. I hate not telling people I am from other country because they’d take advantage of my naivety. I hate having to barter for every item I am going to buy. I hate them now, because they are strange to me. Maybe in 3 years, I’d prefer it this way.

I feel like a baby who needs to learn everything from scratch.